Just a few thoughts after reading this but maybe you should talk to your attorney or the gal about a set amount of minutes or timeframe you get to talk. It would be easy enough to do.
When my ex was in monster mode we met at the library a couple times and it worked well. My ex would try to pick fights too. She’s trying real hard to get you to react badly. I’m sure you wouldn’t but don’t put yourself in any situation with her alone. What you wrote reminded me of a time my ex got me cornered in a nook in the kitchen yelling in my face.
I think it’s a good thing the trios see something is wrong with your w. Kids that don’t recognize irrational behavior from a parent blame themselves. I try to give them some control by letting them pick some things we do, eat, etc. when I can. It was really helpful for them in the period your in.
