I suddenly realized I did not want to watch them leave so I quickly changed, said good-bye to the kids and “see ya” to my H. He had a weird look on his face...it struck me as kind of amused. Ugh
I know this look. I call it smug. Its the look that tells me H still holds some resentment towards me. Satisfaction over getting a reaction. Pay it no mind.
Originally Posted by DejaVu6
Tonight I joined a meetup group in my city for women 40+. I think I am going to force myself to go to one of their events. I need to meet some new people and expand my circle of friends.
I joined a meetup social group who met for dinners, pub nights and dancing soon after BD. By social group what they really meant was people looking to socialise and maybe hook up. I hated it. I might try a yoga or walking group after the improv course. The her 40's womens group sounds good too.
Originally Posted by DejaVu6
Journaling...noticed my H’s electric toothbrush is gone .... I don’t know why but for some reason that really hit me hard ... I immediately took everything else of his that was on the bathroom counter and shoved it into a drawer. Noe when I look in the bathroom, it definitely looks like one person uses ut.(
It's the little things that get you once they've moved out. The reminders that they lived there once, and now no longer do. H and I (use to) have a shared electric toothbrush. I was away recently and he stayed here with the girls overnight. I noticed when I got home that his toothbrush head was on the electric toothbrush. It really threw me so I threw it in the bin.
As an aside, (I think I may have mentioned it) the day he moved out i walked around the house and took down every photo of him. I put any photos of him and the girls in their respective bedrooms and then put any photos of us in his 'magic wardrobe'. When I came home the next day he had taken the box of photos from the wardrobe. I was speaking to our cleaner yesterday and she remembers that day. She said she saw him put in in the back of his car and there were tears running down his face. He never said a word about it then or now. When I went around to his flat a few weeks later he had take our photos out of the frames and either put photos of the children in them or just put out the empty frames out. I told him his flat was nice, then I went home I cried. I didn't say a word about it then or now.
I was trying to erase him out of my life (and he felt hurt by it) and he was trying to erase my from his (and I felt hurt by it). Why couldn't we just tell each other we were both hurting. Its times like this I want to shake him and say "wake up".
