Why is it so hard for some people to see others contributions? Honestly, i did virtually all the laundry, dishes, ironing, yard work, ran S to all activities(he was in a lot), and worked a few days a week as well.
Honestly, because this is the stuff that happens in the background, like white noise. It only gets noticed when it isn't done. These were my responsibilities apart from the yard work. .
I use to cook dinner every night for us. I love cooking. When H started working odd hours I started cooking only when I knew he'd be home (i'd have toast or a sandwich otherwise). He never said thank you, I would end up doing all the washing (cooking from scratch creates a lot of dishes). Sometimes he'd be home all day and when I came in the house would be in a state, there would be breakfast dishes piled up and still no dinner. In my head he'd sat on his a*** waiting for me to come home tidy, cook, clean and put the kids to bed. The last thing I wanted to do was cook for him. So I started buying pre-prepared meals and we would put one in the oven each when we were hungry. Sometimes we ate together, sometimes we ate at different times. The resentment grew. We both fed it.
Now here's the rub ...
What I didn't see was during the day when i thought he was sitting on his a*** because the dishes weren't done - he had mowed the lawn, or sorted through the garage, or de-weeded the driveway or sorted through our paperwork. Like my role of cooking, and washing, and ironing etc the stuff he did to contribute was white noise as well.
Don't get me wrong. He did a fair bit of sitting on his a***. But we all do that sometimes.
