You guys really opened my eyes. I honestly didn't realize that was pursuit but now I see it plain as day. I've been thinking quite a bit today, and I have made a choice to continue as I was before the first phone call with my father in law. I am not going to meet up with her at this time, I'm just going to keep GAL as I was before all of this. I feel as though if I meet up now, it'll show that I'm still there as plan B, it just feels too soon.
I may meet up with my father inlaw by himself to say hi out of respect, but if he begins this talk again I will do what Grace said and just tell him its a private matter.
AS, I agree with every point that you made. I feel like I now understand (and follow) the distance/pursuit rules with her, but I didn't realize that I needed to apply them when talking to other people (I know, I know, it's pretty obvious). I will definitively keep that in mind from now on. And like I said, there is no way I am initiating ANYTHING with her, not a phone call or text, and much less an R convo.
I am worried about one thing. Since he is coming this weekend to visit her, I am certain that he will be pressuring her about this whole situation (I just know how he is). It's almost as if I am the one pressuring her in a way, isn't it? Because of my past pursuit behaviors, I feel as though she will see it the same way and set me back months, even though it isn't coming from me this time.
When I mentioned to him that I am seeing a therapist, he immediately asked if she knows that I am seeing one (yes). But he kept repeating how good that I'm seeing a therapist etc. I feel as though he will start pressuring her by saying "Look, he's seeing a therapist, you need to give him another chance", etc. Like I said before, I just know how he is. I guess we'll see what happens...
