So yesterday I felt ok. After hearing him say he felt conflicted I had more conviction in myself to continue moving on. It just made me feel more secure that he still has a bit of himself that sometimes feels he wants this marriage, however small it may be. I went out to dinner and a musical with my friends. At 8 pm I had this urge to text him just to ask what he and the kids were up to but I stopped myself. An hour later, he actually sent me a text to see what I was up to. I didn’t answer.
Today he sent me an email replying to one I sent him the other day related to our parenting plan (we’re doing 50/50 custody). We’ve been working on it since July. He says he’s going to file for divorce once it’s finalized so I’m dreading it. Though my lawyer doesn’t understand why he doesn’t just file for divorce now. I’m trying to include right of first refusal in the plan for when the on duty parent needs a babysitter (the on duty parent would have to ask the other parent first). He’s fighting me on this. I think he doesn’t want me to know his business - when he’s going out at night and needing a babysitter. It’s stressing me out and I haven’t responded to his email yet.
I’m going to see him in about an hour because there’s a Halloween event at my son’s school. He says he can only stay for an hour since he has plans and I have the kids this weekend. It’s going to kill me wondering what he’s going to do tonight. I wish I could figure out how to truly detach.
