I'm not trying to intentionally invoke jealously. However, that brings up something I thought I remembered reading in DR which was that sometimes jealously works in your favor. I believe there was a particular story in DR where MWD talks about a W accidentally sending some texts that were meant for someone else to her WAH.....she accidentally sent some that said "I can't wait to get together!" etc. and that turned him around. I wish that could happen in my case, but I'm afraid wishing for that would just lead to more disappointment.
Be very careful with this thinking. WASs are like sharks. LBS' manipulation attempts are like blood in the water. A shark can smell blood in the water from a mile away. The reason the example in the book worked (and I honestly don't remember that account but believe you that it is in there) is because it was an honest mistake. I can almost guarantee you that if that had been done on purpose then the WAH would never have batted an eye about it.
I agree in general though, J does work. That is why GAL and being coy about it works so well. There are multiple threads on this board from folks that GAL very very well. And then have their WASs start wondering what the heck they are doing. Accusations of them seeing someone usually follow (which is always so hypocritical!). But GAL should be done without expectations, which is why it needs to be tightly-coupled with detachment. Otherwise you will do GAL with one eye looking over your shoulder to see if your WAW is noticing. The key is to not care if she notices or not, and GAL anyway!
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In fact, I feel like if I can get away with not telling her who I'll be hanging out with, the better. She tends to take whatever I say or do the complete opposite of what my intentions are, so if I were to say I'm hanging out with X, rather than her getting jealous she would probably have the mindset instead that "Ok, he's moving on, good, now I don't have to worry about his feelings any longer! Let's file this puppy and get it over with!"
All LBS worry about this. "If I am coy with GAL then they'll think I don't care anymore and it will speed up their leaving." In 90% of the cases the opposite actually happens. The WAS gets so intrigued by the changes that they set out to find out what is going on rather than moving anything forward. My W was on the path for D full speed, until I started to GAL with detachment. The better I got at GAL and detaching the slower she headed down the path she was on. It went from "I am so excited to get a place of my own!" to "God hates divorce, I know that. So I want to not want a D."
DBing is no guarantee, but in my experience it sure has better odds than pursuit and pressure.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018