Where things stand: W is going to S and move into her new house she is purchasing 1 week from this posting date. Due to delays in the court system the D will be finalized sometime in Jan. We are rapping up splitting the finances and will tell the kids tomorrow. It's going to be a tough weekend. Again18 gave me a pretty good 2x4 and the W was chewing me out that evening with similar sentiments. I thought I was doing well, but I may be overconfident, and/or arrogant. W complained that I was looking down on her from on high, being too harsh, telling her what's what and not giving her say. I am going to stand back so she can have say wrt to telling the kids as long she wants it to be neutral. My confidence has been rocked, I am not standing on firm ground like I thought I was. I have a lot of work to do on myself. My IC session didn't go as well as I had hoped, it was a learning experience with not many definite answers, mostly just big challenges for improvement I will need to overcome. The mountain just keeps getting higher and higher. I have been crying a lot again. I prayed to God last night, I said I thought I knew where I was going, but really I'm just lost. I am giving up and I am putting it all in God's hands now.
Wow Twofeet. While heart-wrenching this is an amazingly open and honest post. See here is the thing. None of us are perfect. All of the confidence and arrogance, and thinking we are perfect doesn't change that. The posters that struggle the most here are the ones that think they know it all. That think they are above reproach. That think their own issues are resolved, or never existed, and that they are somehow the victim. Granted all WASs are different, some are worse than others. But NO LBS is perfect. Even after deep self-reflection, and working on ourselves, and doing everything we can to 180 bad behaviors.....none of us are perfect.
The day we think we can't improve, that we can't grow, that we can't be even better is the day that we will rot in our misery and failure. I read your paragraph above and I see a broken man. But I also see a man that is recognizing his shortcomings, his imperfections and his need to grow. None of us know each other. We can project any image we want. We can hide negative details about ourselves and pretend that we are perfect. But those that are honest with themselves, like you above, are the ones that have the best chance of moving forward, onward and upward!
A week ago I snooped on my W. Her and I have been in R and piecing for nearly 8 months. I had a moment of weakness and snooped. And I found nothing except my own guilt. I could have hidden it. Buried it. Never fessed up to it here. But would I learn and grow from that? Or would true learning and growth only come from being honest about my shortcomings?
Twofeet you are going to be okay sir. No matter what happens in your MR, you are going to be fine. Because you are an inspiration to all of us about how to self-reflect and move forward. (And trusting in and leaning on God is awfully wise of you too!)
Last edited by Steve85; 10/26/1810:07 PM.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
