My confidence has been rocked, I am not standing on firm ground like I thought I was. I have a lot of work to do on myself. My IC session didn't go as well as I had hoped, it was a learning experience with not many definite answers, mostly just big challenges for improvement I will need to overcome. The mountain just keeps getting higher and higher. I have been crying a lot again.
TF, I hope you are prepared to hear this, maybe you should sit down. You my friend, are.... normal! We ALL go through this or have been through it. Progress followed by reality checks that our progress isn't as far as we thought. You may have seen me post this before but I tell people I first "dropped the rope" about 6 months after BD. Then a year after BD I really did drop the rope, and laughed at myself for actually thinking I had before. Then at 18 months I REALLY dropped the rope and once again realized how I had fooled myself before that. With the benefit of hindsight you will see just how long and difficult your journey really was. You'll have many of these ups and downs along the way, just roll with it. Cry, scream, curse the skies above, go lift some really heavy weights. Work it out of your system. And keep moving forward.
By the way your ability to voice this doesn't show vulnerability, it shows strength. You are doing better than you think. I see a few people on these forums living in denial, you are miles ahead of them in growth.
