Just keep swimming, I think I can, I think I can

[marina7]

Journaling,

It's been a rough 2 days.

W been again keeping s10 away
I am scheduled to call W text
W We need time change and only 15min on the phone with s10
M time will stay as we all agreed, and we are not time restrictions
W rant s10 has to shower and eat and do homework
He also has a life. He doesn't even want to go over
Your house
M again I will be talking to s10 and his sibilings

W rants goes on. Who the hell are you
I don't care call who ever the
F**k you call I am tired of this sh*t.

I simply sent GAL and lawyers W text and
Stated I simply can't with W. I am trying my best
To coparent W refuses for us to be part of s10 life.

S10 had a school event yesterday. I and d10 and s9
Where going to s10 school s10 was so excited.
S10 called me said Hi mommy today is event
I said I know we be there. I guess W heard the conversation
3min later my phone rings.
W we not going
M ummm why we are on our way
W because s10 doesn't want you there or s9 or d10
You don't get it. Get out our life.

Wow. I am dumbfounded.

First the freaking Illinois law [censored] on
Protecting kids. It's sad and heartbreaking
That things are not moving fast enough.

I can't imagine what s10 is going through
My monkey brain is wondering how s10
Is being mentally abused. How much longer
can s10 take we are talking about a child.

I am 40 and let me tell you 1 hour with W
I feel like am losing my mind. Is so scary.

I now get it when s9 and d10 say is scary going
To mom house. Is like she is crazy.
Sometimes she just sleeps,
One minute W is Yelling put ya jackets
On and rushing them.

I break for them. How can I protect my kids.

How can I protect them from this monster.
One minute W is like a little girls and the next
Minute is like a evil monster spewing horrible things.

I need lots of prayers. This momma is feeling
Hopeless only God could change this.
I have lost faith in the law.