Thanks DejaVu and AS. Everything you both say I know is true. I know I am just having a bit of a wobble. I will pick myself back up.
Stood down for me is when I let go of the rope. I don't think it will be a conscious decision. I will just wake up one day and realise that I have not thought or been concerned about him for a while. Part of me wants that day to come, part of me fears it.
Originally Posted by DejaVu6
To him, you probably look A-OK too and it is going to start to bother him if it hasn’t already [I suspect it has - hence the show.]
I worry that by thinking I am OK this somehow removes the guilt or drives him further awat. But I have read enough threads here to know, as counterintuitive as it feels, I really have no option but to to detach. The annoying thought that it is driving him further makes it self known non-the-less.
I speak to people and they say how unfair he is being to me. How I deserve better. I know well meaning people are in his ear telling him he needs to make a decision. And I want them to stop. To just let him be. Because this horrible limbo is better than him being pushed into a decision I hope he still isn't ready to make. I will stay the course though.
On a side note: I was looking at my LinkedIn profile and the girl he was on a date with came up as someone I might know. We work in different industries and have no mutual connections. So the only reason is that she has looked at my profile. I resisted the urge to look at hers . I am better than that. I have not and am not wasting any emotion on her. She is nothing to me but a sideline to me (and I suspect she is the same or him) but it was interesting she has stalked me. His statement "it is only casual, there are no expectations" which I think is true on his side, is definitely not true for her.
