STH, what is your current arrangement? I read your description but it's a little confusing, does W have your son M-F and you have him weekends?
Originally Posted by STH17
She replied a few hours later. She says son seems exhausted by the long trade offs (I guess she means the travel time). An ideal arrangement according to her would be to trade every other week. I don't know what that means exactly, and doesn't answer anything for the present reality. I think she means we would each take care of son for a full week at a time.
So if I understood correctly, she has him M-F and you get him Friday and then take him back Sunday? And she's suggesting you switch off weekly instead. Well I don't think her request is unreasonable, it's not really fair to her that she never has him on weekends. Also if she has to shuttle him to school (even if it's close) all the time then that's a burden on her that's not really fair either. A 50-50 split with a weekly handoff would seem much more fair, but it sounds like he's going to school close to your W which would mean you have to drive him over there and pick him up each day which is a burden on you. Is there a compromise where he can be in daycare that is closer to the middle rather than close to her and far from you? Also think about what will happen when he starts school too. Who is going to be primary residence (divorce court will require this)? Where is the school he will be attending? How are things going to work then? It may seem way in the future right now, but it's not!
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That's not an option while we're living so far apart and son is enrolled in the school she chose. W wants to keep son over weekend every 4th week. I don't like that idea and don't see any reason to agree to that.
Why don't you like it? It sounds reasonable. Maybe tell her that if she gets him every 4th weekend then you get to optionally come pick him up one evening each week (or every other week or whatever) to take him to the park or dinner or something. My ex and I wrote that into our D decree so that neither of us would have to go a full week without seeing the kids.
