Her dad called me again last night to ask how things are going. I told him that I haven't seen her since our first call.
^^^That response is pursuit! You are trying to initiate an R convo with her dad, something Michele calls "rallying the troops against her". Don't do that!! If you talk to your inlaws the ONLY thing you should be talking about is all of your awesome, amazing, inspiring GAL activities. Because then they will talk to her and say "wow, lost is doing X, Y and Z and it sounds like he's really enjoying his time without you." THAT is what you want getting back to her.
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He said that he talked to her again yesterday and that she says how she really took me for granted and now she realizes what she had with me and wants to change and have a new, better relationship with me.
Your response- "Oh, well if she ever approaches me about recon then I will have to decide what to do about it I suppose. But anyway, did I tell you I set a new PR in the bench press yesterday? Then I went ziplining with some friends, have you ever tried that? It was so much fun!"
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He said that I need to take the risk and talk to her and to trust him that she will respond, I just need to start the talk since she is too proud and afraid of rejection.
Nope he's wrong. You open that talk and I guarantee it will tell her you are still firmly in place as Plan B and that's where you will stay.
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He is coming to visit this weekend and wants to see me so we can "work this out". Not too sure how I feel about that.
NO!!!!!! Look, the only side of this that needs to be worked out is HERS. Nothing you do will speed it up. The BEST you can do is NOTHING. Keep giving her time and space and make yourself the spouse only a fool would leave.
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So, on one hand I have all of the DB principles which say no pursuit, and on the other hand, my father inlaw basically telling me to pursue (by starting this R conversation). I am obviously leaning towards the DB principles and I'm honestly afraid to pursue as I know it will backfire. It's just hard since someone I trust is telling me to do the opposite. What do you all think?
I think your instincts are correct, it WILL backfire. It will set you back months.
