Wow FS. I could have written that. I so know what you mean about family time being spent without you and how much that hurts. I still think your H is putting on a show though. There is no way he is just going to breeze through this and not look back when he has such a wonderful W. To him, you probably look A-OK too and it is going to start to bother him if it hasn’t already [I suspect it has - hence the show.] Just stay the course. Keep GAL. Look forward to your improv course. Let yourself have happy moments. Yesterday and tomorrow only exist in our minds so try not to torture yourself with memories and dire predictions. Stay in the moment. You are going to be okay. I fully believe that. We are both going to emerge from this better people - stronger, kinder and wiser. AWOAFWL. Your story is not done...this is just one chapter. The questions you ask are completely normal, I think. I ask myself those all the time. What if this does become normal and I just accept it or, even worse, start to be okay with it? If I lose my desire to stand, is it the end for us? I think all we can do is move on as best we can and have faith that things will turn out the way they are supposed to. We also have to keep reminding ourselves that the H’s we have now are not the people we would want in our lives if we just met them now. They both have work to do and it is work that will not happen as long as we are in front of them distracting them from the REAL problem...themselves. So hang in there. Take advantage of opportunities presented to GAL. The rest will take care of itself. (((HUGS)))
