Feeling lost, scared and wanting to fix this. Pt 2

[ovrrnbw]

People come here for help and seeking answers. Not all the answers are the ones we want to hear. MWD promotes "Save your Marriage" then the fine print is not all of them can be.

I watch the numbers on the posts and responses. So people are reading. Yeah everyone here is hurting or has been hurting. So we are supposed to support and help each other. I may be writing things down here and it may sound like I am doing all the right things. It sure doesn't feel like it. Don't pursue. Well if she felt that I was ignoring her then not pursuing seems like more of the same. So at this point it seems like I am facing a loose/loose scenario.

Turbine,

There is no fine print that not all marriages can be saved - that is just the reality of human nature and there are a million variables that play into it. And no one can say for certain what would save a marriage, and again, there probably isn't one act or one word that would do such a thing. It's actions and attitudes, just like life. You seem to be an experienced man, I haven't read your whole thread. You are prior service?

Well, either way, life is always trying to crap on us. It's on each man and woman to make the best of it. People are reading your thread, some are members, some are just browsing the forums.

If you feel like you're doing nothing by not pursuing, maybe you're right. Has pursuing worked for you so far? If so, continue it by all means. If not, and you don't know what works, stop doing what doesn't work. That's part of the Divorce Remedy technique. You can then experiment to see if something works, but set a plan. In the meantime, you focus on your GAL, give the gal space and time. Let her miss you. Let her FEEL what it's like to not have you. She can't feel the reality of that if you are pursuing her all the time. She can't miss the good things about you if you are up her rear end about MC, fixing things, giving it "one more try", etc.

And for chrissakes stay off Facebook and the like. Over 10 years ago I realized how much of a waste of time that was. Just stop. Use that time to make your life better. You'll get satisfaction from doing real things in real life with real people. Plenty of studies out there demonstrating the negatives of social media and how it is warping our culture. Every day you have choices to make, those choices make you who you are, so make the best choices and do it based on your values.