Acc, thank you for the great response. I understand what you are saying about the touch and go moments and that makes perfect sense, that is what happened on our date a month ago. I now feel better prepared to handle those moments. The big fight was regarding me not being able to see the stepkids anymore (which yesterday I asked her if I could see them since my stepson told me he wanted to see me, and she said yes that's fine - which was a huge surprise for me). I feel as though the fighting was/is caused by resentment on both ends, which turns any small thing into a fight. Since I've accepted that we are never getting back together (and gotten over the depression honestly I've been feeling fine), I don't feel any resentment towards her anymore. It's like the slate has been wiped clean. I don't know if its the same for her or not. I am in a therapy program one night per week. Her dad told me that she is also in a weekly therapy program.
I still haven't met up with her. The night that we were going to meet up I had to stay at work late, and the last two nights she has worked. But she's been texting me every day for random things and joking, almost flirting. I'm not pursuing at all.
Her dad called me again last night to ask how things are going. I told him that I haven't seen her since our first call. He said that he talked to her again yesterday and that she says how she really took me for granted and now she realizes what she had with me and wants to change and have a new, better relationship with me. I told him that she hasn't mentioned wanting to talk to me about this. He said that I need to take the risk and talk to her and to trust him that she will respond, I just need to start the talk since she is too proud and afraid of rejection. He is coming to visit this weekend and wants to see me so we can "work this out". Not too sure how I feel about that.
So, on one hand I have all of the DB principles which say no pursuit, and on the other hand, my father inlaw basically telling me to pursue (by starting this R conversation). I am obviously leaning towards the DB principles and I'm honestly afraid to pursue as I know it will backfire. It's just hard since someone I trust is telling me to do the opposite. What do you all think?
