I have one already kml. The guys I play with are fantastic. But I lack a lot of confidence, a little through having studied music (I ended up with bad stage fright after my final performance), a little from XH.
I'm a very quiet, still player, very focussed. I'm not the larger than life, grab your attention, fill the space player, that my XH was.
I haven't ever really given my personality when I'm playing the chance to develop. I don't know if you know what I mean? I'm a good player technically, but my playing personality needs to be bigger, more me. Except I'm not really sure what that is. I don't really know how to find it, or if what I'm finding is right.
It's funny, with my other creative work, it's all very me. I really don't care what other people think. I'm not trying to make sure that what I'm doing is right, or to do things the right way (I'm certainly making sure that everything is of the highest standard it can be, well done). But I'm really just exploring my own imagination in whatever direction and way I feel like going in. And all my work comes out looking like my work.
But the music side, it's like it got stunted. And I don't know what to do to help it.
