Thanks, ALL. KML, the loans are mostly in my name. We both have some retirement savings (small, like $30,000 each) and we are making payments on the car, $245, which we will owe for three more years. He makes about 20,000 more than me, so making the mortgage without him could be extremely difficult.
KML, I agree with you about the brain injury. He had two brain abscesses that required 3 surgeries to fix (9 years ago) and a brain infection (encephalopathy) 3 years ago, which I believe the the beginning of our downward spiral. During the 3 years ago incident, he was on a high dose of steroids, as well as keppra (which has known side affects called "Keppra rage") but hasn't been on either of those for a while. He has been irrational, forgetfull, and has angry outbursts (mostly at me, I think). Not sure about work, but he did go out on Saturday evening and came back with a large scrape on the side of the car, which he did not mention until I asked him about it--said that it was a parking problem). He has other symptoms which have been a red flag for me, like asking me "what is broccoli?" after eating it for 20 years or more. Don't know about work, but both of our grown children have remarked that his personality has changed. My daughter and I said this to him directly, with no results. I think that at least some of his behavior has been driven by brain changes. When I tell him that he says "so I don't want to be married to you and you think that it's a brain change?" I certainly think that our problems are partly related to that, but not entirely. His doctor is concerned, too, but he lies to her, and she is trying to figure out a way to check him neurologically without outing me.
