I love this man, and have since the age of 21. The pain is the worst I've ever encountered, even compared to years ago when he almost died of a brain infection.
Exactly how long ago was this? This is a form of brain injury, and long term consequences of brain injury can show up years later (think of those football players with chronic traumatic encephalopathy). My friend's husband sustained a bad brain injury from a bicycle accident in his late 40's, made a miraculous recovery, but within ten years started to show signs of dementia and died in a nursing home in his early 60's.
Not trying to excuse what may be a garden variety midlife crisis, but have you seen other signs of him being irrational, forgetful, or unexpectedly angry with people other than you? Has he gotten into any trouble at his work? Driving more recklessly or having accidents? Mood changes can be an early sign of brain deterioration.
My ex had several concussions in his 40's and although he had a typical midlife crisis at 50 I also believe his concussions had something to do with it.
