It's okay EQ. Don't beat yourself up. One of the most important things I learned in this journey to have self-compassion and learn from the past. I can say that I was exactly similar to you. Excavate your past for the lessons and leave the emotions out of it - it's not easy but comes with time. Once you get there, it's like someone lit a fire inside of you. But self-compassion is equally important. I wrote this on another thread but the other thing I learned is be happy with who you are today. However you know you can do a little better tomorrow. So do that. Over time, these improvements will have an exponential gain.
You do have a chance for a do-over. Life isn't over yet man. Rich Roll overcame addiction and started his ultra endurance career in his 40s. It's only late when you're on your death bed and you look back with regret. I don't want to have any major regrets about what I wanted to do in life and who I wanted to be.
