Twofeet - did you ever have a conversation with her about what you were doing was becoming 'expected' and that you were not getting appreciation from her? Did you show her appreciation for what she was doing? And I mean not just deciding how you felt like appreciating her, but asking her how she would like to be appreciated for pulling her weight? If you didn't, it goes back to my point about communication and understanding expectations clearly. Otherwise both of you were engaging in covert contracts.
Ballast also brought a really good point - the expectation of getting something done from the perspective of both people. What was considered timely? For example, my W would consider doing dishes right after dinner as 'timely', where I saw doing it after putting kids to bed as 'timely'. So if I wouldn't get to it right after dinner, she would get annoyed at me. In turn I would get annoyed because she would just do it rather than let me do it before going to bed. I think this is a big piece that needs to be communicated and understood by both people.
EQ - I am not sure what you mean by 'successful'. Do you mean like making $$$$, or do you mean someone who is passionate, driven about their career, hobbies even if it's not making it $ rain? From my personal experience, I know that I lost my ambition and drive and that contributed to W losing respect, in addition to not taking care of myself and being too domesticated. But the field I am in compared to hers, I will never make the kinda money she does because of industry standards. She way outpaced me in $ earnings. But now I am way more driven and ambitious, which has made me confident and helped my self-esteem, and I know that it radiates outward. So if a woman wasn't into me because my paycheque wasn't as large, I don't want to be with that person either.
I know Sandi has amazing posts on this from a woman's perspective and hopefully she sees this and chimes in .
