Last night, talked with W for a few minutes about MC session. She heard me and then talked about that I can be nice without being "nice". Wants to open up to me because she has to unload stuff that has been in her heart since this thing got started. She says there is anger and sorrow involved. She ended the conversation by saying that we need to be "us" and help get each other through to the other side. Told her again that we are not the same couple. We're different and I do not know what the dynamics of "us" entails. Other than that, I just validated and did not agree or disagree.
Painted pumpkins and D4, had dinner, replied to a post here, and went to sleep.
Exhausted. I'm "sleeping" more, but I'm waking up tired. But on the upside, I did not need to take Xanax to sleep, so that's a good sign.
I woke up, prayed, showered, made my bed, had breakfast with D4 and now at work.
Feeling numb. And taking the song lyrics of In The Waiting Line to heart. So many people telling me so much. All good advice and I listen to it all. It's processing the information and ultimately making my own decisions that will allow me to move forward.
Considering being a WAH, which may involve a OW. I don't know. It screams "bad idea!", but it also could be the 180 needed to turn my life around. I don't know.
