just borrowing this from burned and posting it here.
a simple reminder of WW mindset.
Originally Posted by burned
I was just thinking about this because my WW wasn't always a selfish person. If anything she was NOT selfish enough. She had NGS toward me! (G=girl)
What I know about my WW, though, is the shame and the guilt stuff she has been dealing with her whole life plays a role. Some people feel so poorly about themselves that they seek external validation. When I stopped being her source of validation, she turned elsewhere. It was a survival thing. Funny, because AFTER BD it was all about me being the "desperate" and "clingy" person.
Then there's the guilt. I think THIS matters a lot. Rationalization, AFTER the fact.
WW self-talk: "Oops, I had an A. Oh no, this means I'm a terrible person! Oh NO, how will I ever live with myself? Wait a minute, if I had an A, it means that something was wrong. Yeah! My H wasn't a good H. That's probably why. If he was a good H I would have been happy with him and then not had the A. Whew, glad there was an explanation, otherwise I might have been unable to go on. OK, so that's what I'm going to tell people. Then they won't hate me as much as I hate myself. Oh, and I might as well tell myself the same thing, because then I won't hate myself, either. Oh and get rid of H because who wants to be reminded of that nonsense? He wasn't a good H, AND he thinks he can fix it, AND then people will think he's better than me, AND just seeing him reminds me of the horrible thing I did."
