Just wondering what people think, for the sake of discussion. At this point I have no desire to D, but W is astute, and I did enough pursuing before my DB days that she can read me like a book.
My thoughts on the LBS pursuing D are that it can't happen until complete detachment is achieved and the rope is 100% dropped. How long does that take? At least 1 to 2 years. D is absolutely NOT a "technique" to bring a WAS back, which it sounds like is what you are hoping for. If you pursue D then it has to be because you are sure it's what you want, and with zero expectations that it'll change her mind.
In my case I was the one that finally pushed my ex to pursue the D, she had already prepared the paperwork with her L but it sat in limbo for a year. A business opportunity came up (a partnership) and clearly I didn't want to go into a partnership with a looming D, so I encouraged her to get the ball rolling and assisted with the paperwork. By the time that happened I was ready to end it because there was still a lot of uncertainty over how much I would owe her (since I kept the house), and also I had started dating and let me tell you, women aren't too keen on dating a separated (but still legally married) man, and I don't blame them because many of them end up dumping their new GF to reconcile with their W. So my attitude was "it's already over with so let's settle things legally and move on" and I was completely at peace with that. I've said this a few times but I expected to revisit depression and anxiety after D but frankly I walked out of court and just breathed a sigh of relief. I wasn't happy or excited or anything, but it felt like a huge burden of uncertainty had been lifted from me.
