I had a dream last night that H walked into the house, and said he needed an ambulance. I just looked at him, and he said he wasn't kidding, he really needed one. I woke up. It was very disturbing, and making me want to text him to ask him if he is o.k.
Then do it, as long as you do it in some manner that comes off as concern and validation rather than pursuit. Maybe "I had a bad dream about you, I'm sure it was nothing but just wanted to check with you and make sure everything is OK."
I'm not saying that he's suicidal, but one thing I've learned in my years is many women have something akin to a 6th sense. I don't know if it's just because you're generally more caring and sensitive but whenever a woman tells me about a dream or a feeling I never immediately discount it.
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When he first moved out, I was VERY fearful for his mental state and safety. He's said on many occasions he's no good to anyone, and a few times he might be better off dead (quite some time ago).
Well this is an area where our situations work against us, but a WAS can sometimes be very damaged and unfortunately the LBS is not in a position to do anything about it because more often than not the WAS doesn't want any help or advice from the LBS. There was a person who posted here years ago, in many ways it was a typical WAS story and they ended up separating and (I think) divorcing. She was living by herself and they had little contact, and what contact they did have usually didn't go too well. He dropped off the forums for months as sometimes happens, he came back just to quickly report that she had killed herself and then he dropped off again. I don't know how to tell a "regular" WAS that's simply unhappy from one that is truly going through something more serious, and I don't know what a LBS could do about it. Personally I think you have to walk a fine line between giving them time and space while also letting them know you support them no matter what. Allow them to talk and vent and complain and be unhappy and just listen and validate. If they do seem to be suicidal then perhaps call a suicide hotline and seek advice on what to do.
