I read your thread and always think how similar our sitch's are. Our H's are good people doing not so good things. I want to shake mine all the time and say "wake up you idiot".
Originally Posted by DejaVu6
I see about as much of him now as I did before I found out about his secret life. The only difference is now I know what he is doing and he knows I know so maybe he has a chance to look inward a bit more than before when he was so focused on keeping up the lie. I feel like there isn't much more for me to say though so will concentrate on stepping back and being a little less available.
This is exactly how I feel. I see H more now than I ever did. Not only that. When he is here he is here and not scrolling through his phone. He is not reflective and self aware like your H but, still, it is a little disconcerting. Apart from not living under the same roof and not being affectionate to one another, my life has not really changed. He had amassed and was paying off a massive student debt, so I have paid for nearly everything home or child related so him leaving has not left me any worse off financially.
If you are happy with the childcare arrangements, then you should stick with it. But, I do think you need to try and get him to have the kids the odd weekend and one night a week. Babysitting is not the same as being a dad. Can you not stay at your sisters?
