I think it was AMOAFWL was the first to really get me to understand that marriage is just a piece of paper telling the govt that we are married. I am not religious so that takes that aspect of it out. My thought was we will get D and if she changes her mind and I am open to it we will just get back together sell one house and family will be back in tact.
I truly believe they won't take a second look until they KNOW you are not an option anymore.
(I know I'm going to take some heat for this because it means I'm still thinking about how my actions will affect her. I'm just trying to integrate multiple perspectives here so I have a sense of what my options are. In the meantime it's GAL and darkness for Burned.)
This is funny to me because in my case it's W who is trying to make me a non-option. But I'm letting things be, not doing anything one way or another. So what happens? She files, then changes her mind later? Or I file to expedite the process? (Yeah, I know, there's no way to know how it will play out.)
IC thinks the expedited route is the way to go, mainly for my sanity, but also because W most likely KNOWS that unless I file, I'm still attached. Amoafwl asked at one point why I'm so focused on that piece of paper and the signal it represents. I think that's the reason. But the advice I'm getting here, which is perfectly fine with me by the way, is to just put all that junk on the back burner and show her I'm detached by my detached actions. That is my current approach and I guess if I'm being honest with myself it's starting to help me recover a bit.
So then maybe it's about getting myself to a point that I don't care either way about D? In other words, I'm putting too much emphasis on the logistics of the R rather than the PERSON I have the R with. Wouldn't be the first time.
Just wondering what people think, for the sake of discussion. At this point I have no desire to D, but W is astute, and I did enough pursuing before my DB days that she can read me like a book.
H: 35 W: 33 M: 11 T: 13
4/10/18: I discovered A and confronted ("BD1") 6/23/18: I moved out 8/31/18: MC ends ("BD2")
