So last night was just weird. W came home from work at 11:30 last night, Tuesday is her late night. I was busy in the kitchen packing up the kids lunches and gave her a friendly hello as she walked in the door and went back to what I was doing. I finished up and went back to the couch to watch a bit of late night before bed. W comes down from upstairs and sits in the chair across from me and Asks me if I'm dating to which I replied No and that I thought that was an odd question to ask. She said we need to discuss this and set up a boundary about not bringing people we are dating around the kids. I made it clear that I wanted no part of this discussion at this time but since the topic had now been brought up that I agree that we don't bring just anybody around the kids. W kept pressing for some info from me, who are you talking to?, who are you hanging out with all the time? are you dating? are you on dating apps? I advised her that I was not having this discussion, she kept pressing so I walked away and went to bed. This morning I can't help but wonder where the heck all this came from. These questions are all very strange, really non of her business and there is so much more important stuff that needs to be sorted out before any of this is even considered. I am wondering if this is confirmation that there is an OM. I wish I hadn't walked away because this would have been a good opportunity to re enforce some of the boundaries that I have recently set that seem to go ignored but walking away at the time was best. My plan for tonight though is to sit her down and re discuss my boundaries since she seems to want to go down that road and they are as follows:
1. I have a level of expectation that the house will be kept clean and that if the two of us are living together that needs to be maintained by both parties. Laundry on the floor, dishes piled up right above the dishwasher and papers and junk left lying around will not be tolerated and will be disposed of on the weekend.
2. I have submitted a detailed budget to her with all living and kids expenses that are paid on a monthly basis. She is to review, add items that she has coming out of her account and we are to split all house, child and grocery expenses 50/50.
3. We are no longer together and what each of us is doing when we are out, who we are hanging out with is none of the other persons business.
4. The schedule for both of us is to be added to our shared google calendar by Saturday and will be reviewed and altered by Sunday. On some occasions plans may change last minute but as much notice is to be given as possible. Not all changes will be possible to accommodate on a case by case basis but an effort is to be made by both parties to reach an agreement.
We will see how things go tonight but I suspect they will continue to be ignored in which case alternate living arrangements will have to be made.
