Feeling lost, scared and wanting to fix this. Pt 2

[Turbine]

Visit with Minister and a Deacon was about 30 minutes. Was good visit from my perspective. W wasn't home. Didn't return last night and hadn't shared her plans.

It would be nice to at least know she was safe. Maybe.... I don't want to get a phone call or an officer at the door saying they have bad news.

Am I angry about it? Yes. Can I honestly expect to be able to do anything about it? No. I absolutely want to. I want US...

So today starts at the bottom and looks like a dive. Yeah I have family and friends who would all miss me. It just hurts seeing this crumble.

Hating life in general right now. Really feeling this isn't worth it. But then she (W) wins... like I said.... hate... frustration... with most directed at myself and some at her.