I know I would have done the same as you did here, but I'll be honest and tell you what it screamed out to me when I read your post. 'Where's his incentive?'
You say that he won't have you as his best friend to unload to if you get D. Why should he have you now? What difference does D make to your current situation except a legal bit of paper? Is he currently behaving as if he is married?
I know I'm being harsh, but the MLCer is harsh. In his eyes, perhaps he has the best of both worlds 'get to do what I want and enjoy the benefits of W being there when I need someone to offload to' He was wallowing a bit and not committing to anything real except telling you how he feels. I think you already know that. You're still helping him with his feelings. You're his wife not his counsellor. I know part of being married is to be able to look to each other for support but he is picking and choosing which bits of being married suit him.
There are little signs that he's starting to 'miss you' but then you gave him what he needed.
Practice and work out what you are going to say when this happens again so that you cut him off whilst still being polite.
