It is exceedingly difficult to answer your own children’s pointed questions, do not shy away they need answers if you do not provide they will make them up. Now some topics are off limits or not of their concern and you should let them know when they ask. Other topics need answers that are age appropriate. It is your job to ensure they always feel safe enough to come to you with any questions, and to provide or find answers.
You are tasked with leading by example, they are watching and learning - open, honest, and compassionate seems to be a pretty good start for a role model.
Yes, they will most likely ask if you are getting a divorce. With the eldest ones already having been through it, and of course all the kids talk to each other, your answer will be known to all.
I would like to illustrate a concept with an example:
An honest answer to the divorce question is - I don’t know. I do not want to get a divorce, but it takes two people to make a marriage work.
Now that may seem like a good answer. However it is not. It blames their Mom for the divorce. More accurately you would be blaming their Mom with an answer like that. Not much good will come from that. Kids will resent Mom and then start to resent you for attacking Mom.
One of the hardest tasks you face is not damaging your kids relationship with their Mom. It is not your job to falicitate or repair it, however it is your job not to destroy or damage it.
So my suggestion for an answer, build on what you have already said.
Mom and I are discussing our problems and have only decided we need some time apart. If we decide to get divorced I promise I will tell you.
Those are some thoughts, I hope they resonate with you.
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
