3 years pieced and still a work in progress!

[joejoe1]

Blu,

Well, well, well......I think you and I are surfing the same wave. Man am I becoming ambivalent. I just want to run out the front door or some days and never look back. My W wants this to be normal. I can't see no got dam normal. I guess that's how I feel when she says some of the things she say. And I know she is right, but I still have some anger in me on some days. And she can see it in me. In those moments I dont care what the hell she does. I love my wife and love is a choice and so is forgiveness and for some reason choosing to love is easier than choosing to forget. I'm guarded as well. Even, now that my W is more transparent than she has ever been.

Some days I feel like a plum fool and other days I feel just fine. I'm doing so much better in other aspects of life thou. Better than before BD. I would of gave almost anything to be in this position last year. Halloween marks our 1 year mark on deciding to piece. Time sure in a hell a$$ flies. Life is short, and I don't want to spend anymore days feeling like this. I have read and listen to all kind of podcast and videos and I know this is part of the process.

My wife and I have gotten a lot closer and I'm the one pulling a way most days. She just gives me space a pouts. You are not alone BLU. You my girl BLUE. "All these tears".

Onward and forward