I dont know if its pms. I just go into these extreme moods. Sometimes im happy and then other times i am looking for reasons to leave. Or doubting him as a potential partner or doubting myself and my choice. Its not a dynamic in which I treat him badly. I just withdraw and take space. With my ex, i was opposite, much more emotional and i learned my lesson.
What keeps me unsure? He was only the 2nd person i had a relationship with after ex left. . I did not really date around. I probably needed to be single more. What keeps me from doing that right now? NG is a loyal person with similar morals. He wants what i want. We have a lot in common. Im getting older and i have limited time. If i was 45 i probably would have just healed a bit more.
I know many guys out there are more like you, in that they are not looking to form a family unit, or else they are like my ex or many waywards here. Guys that left their wives to find love and happiness. NG was everything i had said i wanted. He even lives walking distance away. He would like having me and my son move in with him. He is domestic. I am not.
How would i feel if he left me? I would never want to hurt someone. So if he left me because i hurt him i would feel really bad. If he left me because of other reasons..found someone else, does not want to have a young kid around, etc. Then i would not care. I would just think its good to know now.
For me, i choose to love. I think it evolves. But i am more practical. I dont really know why i hold back. I still feel trauma from ex maybe? I dont want to be duped again maybe. I dont trust my choices. I never once saw what my ex was, yet the signs were there. Problem was i didnt know the signs cause they were new to me. What if NG just has something new that indont k ownthe signs for or what to even look for.
