I can handle my pain, but this is another layer. As the father, to see my D in pain like that, caused by us ... not good. Not good at all.
My H said on more than one occasion that the kids are in college now, they will be fine. I know my kids, and knew how hard even a trial separation would be on them. As I told them, without H, I saw that I was correct. I believe H wants to convince himself they will be fine so he doesn't have to face the guilt. Our MC, whom I see occasionally as my IC, said I was very wise to recognize that D if also hard on adult children. Not just the ones still at home.
