Grace, I think they do mean in the moment that they want to be friends. Then they go deeper and deeper into the tunnel. The clingers too start to vanish. Everything goes dark. They want no one. If we are not careful and disconnect before then, we go into a tunnel too.
Everything takes time. All of it. I refer to the Stockdale Paradox every once in a while to remind myself that this will come to an end, I don't know when it will end, but I can make the most of my life in the meantime.
