Just a bit of an update. As far as things go with myself personally I feel I am doing pretty well. GAL is really helping me out and I am already making some great friends and having a lot of fun with them. My muddled version of NC is also going well. I say muddled NC because we still are living under the same roof and have the three kids but to be more specific I am maintaining friendly but very brief communication, focused primarily on matters that involve the kids or the schedule of events throughout the week. Any form of pursuit has stopped completely and I am very happy just doing my own thing. The bachelor life (or as close to it as i can get given the sitch) is not bad at all. The thoughts of the relationship and what is happening still often pop into my head but all the work on meditation combined with anti anxiety meds that my doctor started me on are making the feelings and emotions much more manageable and they are not consuming me like they did in the past. I am also eating better and sleeping way better now that I am properly handling my thoughts and feelings. One area that I am really struggling with is the kids and seeing what they are going through. My relationship with them has never been better, my self improvement work is helping our relationship immensely. When it comes to WAW though it is hard for me to watch how this is effecting them. Just to give you an example this past weekend W never came home on Friday and other then a 20 minute stop on Saturday to get changed into fresh clothes didn't show up until noon on Sunday which also happened to be D4's birthday. We did family dinner to celebrate D4's birthday but as soon as that was done W said she was going for a walk and didn't come back until after midnight. I really don't know who this person is, W went from being the most loving, caring, fun, never wanting to be a way from the kids mother to basically walking away from them every chance she gets. Witnessing this night after night is really hard but I am doing my best to try and not let it get to me too much and I am doing a good job of not reacting. I simply say bye and go about my business with the kids. I am really appreciative of the time spent with my kids and am doing everything in my power to make sure they are well taken care of and feel extra love from me but I sure wish they weren't in the middle of all this.
