I was just reading up on your sitch and wanted to express how sorry I am that you are going through this right now. I also want to congratulate you on your pregnancy. I am new to all this myself and learning as I go much like yourself. Going back a few posts you had asked about the 7 year itch. I think it is a very real thing and going back a bit in my sitch things started going down hill right after the 7 year mark and reached there peak at the 8 year point. One thing I picked up on in your last post is the Dr. appointments and all that surrounds bringing a baby into the world.
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Now for the H. I rarely talk to him, but I have sent him updates after my Dr appts. He is so cold, although less cold than he was at the beginning of all of this, but I asked him on Friday if he even wants the updates, he responded, yes, I sure do. So, I will continue with them. He is supposed to come to my next appt, July 13. I told him the date when I made the appt, he said he would make it. I am not planning on reminding him, but making alternative arrangements for someone else to go with me in case he doesn't show, as per my DB coach, so we shall see. He says he wants to be in the baby's life, but he isn't really acting like it.
This is a tough situation for you either way and I'm not 100% sure how to handle it but I think some of this could be a way to further detach. Regardless of H showing up or not I would still arrange for someone else to be there to support you. If H does show up seeing that you have support from others might be a good thing. I don't want this to sound in any way like I am suggesting using the baby as leverage but I also feel that not being overly forth coming with updates after Dr. appts may be a good idea. Advise him that you have appointments but I wouldn't follow up after the appointment. Him claiming to want to be in the baby's life is great but he really needs to make an effort and show that. He needs to be the one calling you and asking for updates. Pardon me for saying this but it takes a real POS to walk out on his pregnant spouse and he needs to feel that and all the shame that should come along with his actions.
