I am not surprised that you haven't seen any papers yet. They say a lot of things but there is rarely any action. It is like they wait for us to react to something [censored] they've done and so that we escalate to the next step. To validate their skewed perception of us so that they can feel better for the damage they've caused. Don't buy into the drama. All the major milestones in our separation were precipitated by me reacting.
Just do what you've been doing. Be calm. Focus on you and the children.
That being said, if the papers do come through then make sure you get legal advice before proceeding. In the UK you have to be separated 2 years before you can have a no fault divorce. Anything before 2 years then one partner files on grounds of the others unreasonable behavior (this could be as mundane as never emptying the dishwasher to providing evidence of adultery). By agreeing to the D, the other accepts that they have been unreasonable. Yes, it's only a piece of paper, and yes, it doesn't impact financial settlement, child care etc, but it's the principle. Take responsibility for the faults that are yours, but do not allow her to railroad you into agreeing into something that is untrue because your emotions are all over the place. It is now that you need to led by your head and not your heart.
Also, make clear that it is not what you want without begging or pleading. "I will get my solicitor to look at this and get back to you. I want to make clear that this is not what I want."
