Hi all, thanks for your responses. I wanted to take time to respond to as many of your threads as possible so mine will just be a short update and I'll respond to your recent messages first next time.

Today is the 10th wedding anniversary for my husband and I. I never imagined I'd spend it alone like this. We had so many hopes, dreams, and so much love for those first six or seven years.

My husband called recently and asked if it's ok if he doesn't come for Thanksgiving or Christmas due to the high cost of tickets. What can I say? I said sure whatever. I guess either he's planning to spend those holidays with his girlfriend or he has some other events planned with whoever he's dating.

I'm still disappointed by what happened with the guy I liked at work. I had to e-mail him about something today and he responded in about 20 seconds so we're still in touch. It seems things had been going well right up until my company's CEO forced us to cancel our meeting. This guy is someone special and I doubt I'll meet anyone like him any time soon, but it wouldn't have worked out anyway so I'm not too devastated.

I've been busy and tired lately, wondering how I'll ever sustain this lifestyle of doing everything on my own. I'm trying to make my daughter the #1 priority but when you work full-time you also have to meet and exceed your employer's demands and still keep up with cooking, cleaning, errands, chores, etc... It still feels unfair to be so tired that I see double sometimes and to think my husband has total freedom to date, sleep, go to the gym, dine at fancy restaurants, etc..

One issue I've been struggling with is some friends and family members being offended that I've been too busy to respond to them quickly or to see them. I feel so terrible, so guilty, and yet I don't have a way to help them understand that I'm doing my best and really wish to see them if I could. I also received a mean accusatory text from my mother about remember my father's birthday and it made me think perhaps I sent similar texts to my husband due to learning such behavior from my mother and it's one of the factors that pushed him away (along with the other women who pulled him away).

Life is difficult. I'm still doing my best and trying to offer my daughter fun and educational activities every night and weekend but I wish someday to have a break even for a few hours. I've been getting a babysitter from time-to-time but just to have a babysitter come requires cleaning the apartment beforehand, cooking dinner, and being back by a certain time so it's not really a free pass.

I'll respond to your responses above as soon as possible. Thanks again everyone!