Blu I know you have been piecing for 4 years now and you have tried all the known techniques. I am new to this and inexperienced, please take whatever I say with a grain of salt You may be feeling this way because you see your bff living her life differently, you have known her a long time and listening to her makes you wonder maybe there is something else for you out there that doesn’t come with so much baggage, your BFF has young love in her life right now, the honeymoon phase which all of us would want forever. Feeling this way may have nothing to do with your history with H, it is just the girl in you wanting love, wanting newness in life. M is a commitment, you went thru hell for your H because you are a committed wife, mother and a person with strong values. But there is a child in all of us wanting a burden free new life and you feeling this way might just be because of what your friend has. I have had these feelings at various junctures with my BFFs, a twinge telling me maybe there is something more, but then I used to come back to reality Will going on a retreat by yourself over the weekend help? If you do a trip of sorts just by yourself once a month or so? Let H handle the house and Ds Your H has made some huge mistakes but he has also done something most waywards don’t do, he has shown remorse and made amends and rightfully earned his place back into your family. I read everywhere that M is always work in progress but that sounds so exhausting, to me it feels like it should come more naturally. You are doing all you can, don’t beat yourself up. You have endured more than most already Give it time, all Ms with or without history like ours have these phases, men are just exhausting lol. Remember the storms you have been through, this is just cloudy weather for your standards Hugs
