Yeah. And what it is changes form moment to moment. Usually in the morning it's "I want this pain to stop." By the afternoon it's "I want what I had." And by the evening its "I am so angry at her, I want her to suffer and I want to replace her with someone new as soon as possible."
My cousin, going through a painful/tumultuous separation divorce at the moment that is NOT of his choosing, has indicated to me that he feels all of these things. Very strongly. And cant get past them. Just kept going by his old place and going by his old place and calling and calling etc etc even though STBXW wanted him to leave her alone.
His parole violation hearing was this past Friday and my aunt bailed him out on Saturday. Trial in three weeks.
Restraining orders can be such a b***h.
Keep GAL-ing, forget the wench, and be glad you're not my cousin. (Hopefully.)
Seriously, though, you're doing much better these days (and i don't see you going down the same road as my cousin-- unless you have a couple of priors and are on parole after getting busted for cooking meth... you're not, right? ... i just thought it make you feel better by comparison ). Anyway, good dynamic with you getting out... There are people out there who will like and want to be around you... probably lots of such people, but you'll never find them by sitting around moping.
Keep up the forward progress!!!
Last edited by hoosjim; 10/22/1810:06 PM.
H53/W51, R-ing 4/'18
"Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires"-Sg.of Sg 2:7
"So oftentimes it happens,that we live our lives in chains, & we never even know we have the key"-Eagles III 1:3
... i just thought it make you feel better by comparison 
). Anyway, good dynamic with you getting out... There are people out there who will like and want to be around you... probably lots of such people, but you'll never find them by sitting around moping. 
