Figuring Out What Comes Next

[DonH]

Well, here's the updates...

I kinda of felt like I had a trifecta going here, game 7 of the playoffs with the Brewers - which I really thought we might win, Tuesday date with online girl and ongoing with Wild Girl. Well, the ante got upped a bit with Wild Girl as what comes in the mail but the final cruise documents and requests for a few more items, like our passport numbers. So I knew if she was going to bail, this was likely going to be the start or at least the hedge.

1. So as many know the Brewers lost so you see I was wrong about that. One Down.

2. I messaged Online Girl this AM. I just stayed very positive saying " I just wanted to check in and firm up something for tomorrow. I kept the afternoon open so let me know what works for you. If you have a favorite place or someplace that you are comfortable with in your area for either lunch or a drink, let me know. If not, I was thinking maybe the [brew pub place] around 1ish? Whichever works best is fine with me. I'm really looking forward to chatting more with you along with I'm sure some good laughs. That was about 5 hours ago now and I've not heard back yet.

3. Called Wild Girl and got voice mail - which has always been more typical than her answering. I then left to get some shopping done and nearly pushed the cart into the shelves when my phone rings and it's her. Told her I'd call her back but needed some additional cruise info - with typical "sounds good" reaction. I called her back after I got home and we had what by all accounts is the same type of discussion we could have had three months ago. Not a single sign of her pulling out - although she's still getting her passport renewed. She gave me the info I needed and we caught up for well over an hour - maybe more like an hour and a half.

So I can relax - she's not bailing on the cruise. That really was my largest concern. I didn't ask her out for anything else but did let her know I'm looking to get tickets for something and will be letting her know. She has a heck of a cold. She's also clearly still struggling with something or somethings. She finally met up with her BFF and she told her the same thing - I've not seen you or talked with you in forever. Ran into her ex love - who I guess pursued her a bit. She's still very clearly hung up on that guy - married with a new baby as he is. He's very clearly just trying to get her back on the side with the same old "we are getting D'd, we never have sex, I don't love her, blah, blah, blah" It worked once for him - right up until his W got pregnant. Whatever, it's her issue - not mine. I stayed clear of last weekend and her potential date - as I'd really rather not know but many of her other stories seem to indicate she's not dated anyone. It's all been the same - family, baby sitting her nephews last weekend, being with her girls, with her friends and working.

So, at least my mind is at ease about not having to rock the boat (pun intended) with the cruise people. She's not even hinting at bailing and at this point I can't imagine she would. I'm sure we'll get together before that but, I don't know, it's clearly not the same - even though it was much the same in that we talked and talked and laughed just like we had always done. But the excitement level for me is just not there - and it almost seems like the excitement level for life with her is not there. She didn't sound depressed or anything, just like she's still struggling with something. That said, I have every belief things will be totally normal when we go - which is somewhat important as spending 10 days with any one person can be trying. I also am pretty sure we'll get together at least a few times prior - just nothing set right now. I didn't want to overwhelm her - especially since she's been more "normal" the last week or two - both on text and on the phone. I'd rather let her come back to me - though friends or FWB really is likely where this ends.

Still need to hear about tomorrow. I really hope OnLine girl doesn't postpone or ghost and cancel altogether. That said, while I'll be disappointed, it won't be any huge deal even though two out of three will have not happened as I hoped they would. At least it's not three for three! Staying hopeful for 2 our of 3. I'll report back when I know!