She said we’re separated numerous times but did not drop the D bomb. I did say it was now a viable option. She fired back telling me that it’s going to be as painful as what we’re feeling now. I countered by saying that if it gives me a ticket to closing this awful chapter in my life I will do it. Her voice cracked when I said D. I needed to say it. I’m done being taken hostage to her actions.
It sounds like the conversation escalated quickly and badly. I guess that's what they say don't engage in R talks if you can avoid it. But I know that when your hurting you just want to hurt back. Maybe even jar them into snapping out of their madness. I've been there (before I found out about MLC). In the months post BD when I didn't know which way was up and which way was down I would swing from demanding he move out to begging him to stay. In fact, it was after a particularly painful MC session that I first said he should move out. The last R talk we had (no 2 this year) he brought out formalising the S and I said "why don't you just file the D papers. What's the point in going through an S". He walked out of the room, got in his car and the next day it was like the conversation never happened. In fact, he spent the next day cleaning and polishing my car. For no apparent reason.
I know it's tough. Take some time out, let the emotions subside a little. Decide if D is what you really want. Things may be different when you take all the hightened emotions out of the equation. Or they may not. But examine your reasons for wanting the D in a more rational frame of mind.
BTW - the S and D talk was 2 weeks ago. He has not mentioned S or D since. I bet your W doesn't mention it again for a while either.
