Work is a great opportunity to detach. Leave your problems at the door and get to work!
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She said we’re separated numerous times but did not drop the D bomb. I did say it was now a viable option. She fired back telling me that it’s going to be as painful as what we’re feeling now. I countered by saying that if it gives me a ticket to closing this awful chapter in my life I will do it. Her voice cracked when I said D. I needed to say it. I’m done being taken hostage to her actions.
To me, this shows that she isn't sure of divorce being what she wants. She cracked a little. Even though you were emotional, you told her you were strong enough to divorce to get to a better state. I think that statement shows a lot. And her reaction shows that she doesn't really want that either, or at least she hasn't decided yet. I think your strength, confidence, and lack of pursuit going forward will really be the difference in your situation. If you can detach emotionally from your W and just see the forest here, you can act in accordance with your values as a man instead of reacting to her childish actions. Do this even when it's hard.
Take back your power by detaching from her. Don't give her the security of plan B by pursuing and sharing your emotions with her. She wants that. But she doesn't want you, not really. So don't give her the pieces she wants without everything.
Also, her uncle is separated from his W. They've been split for a year+ ( S not D) now but have their own R with different folks now. She assumes that her and I can do the same. I don't think I communicated that clearly because she hasn't brought it up, but I do know that it's not what I want.
