H - I would just add that you should not feel bad. To me it is more of a reflection on your spouse that she was not willing to hold true to your vows. We all could have done things differently (woulda, coulda, shoulda) but IMO unless there is physical harm, abuse, some real hard reasons doing something like this because your in a bad spot, maybe lost some of your mojo, or whatever is pretty crappy reason. When I reflect back on my MR it makes me wonder how my XW would behave if I was bed ridden or gravely ill. Would should she have left me? Is that the type of person I want in my foxhole? No Fing way so never, ever feel that your a failure. Screw that.
I have absolutely no respect for my XW. My daughter had a soccer game yesterday at noon and my XW didn't even make it. She was fully aware and for whatever reason made the choice, as I know she was with her BF, by the way she answered a question when we were coordinating getting my oldest daughter to a birthday party.
You will find someone, some day that will blow your XW out of the water.
