It's interesting to me that my writing to you still conveys an angry phase. To me, I simply don't feel that way. The agreement is fine, as fine as something can be that I never really wanted. It is fair to both of us and there's not been any real angst in agreeing to it's particulars.
For me, I've been living free and detached of wondering about her dealings for a long time now. There is for a me a huge sadness in the reality that we've come to this, W never had a single interest in saving us and the impact it will have on our D. I'd say disbelief is the other emotion besides sadness. I guess this chapter of life will close and I'll never really know why or how she could just bail out. Again truly don't feel anger over this. I do feel given how W has been, I've completed closed myself down to her in the future beyond the requirements for D's well being.
Maybe I'm just compartmentalizing what I can't explain. I feel like I'm doing good all things considered. Just time to put this to bed and move on. It's all I've really had available to me since she BD'd me. Just have to hope the future is better than the present and God help me to not look back on the past.
