I've been doing things as instructed (probably not as well as I think I have), but the sitch continues to deteriorate. There is basically no M left to save. Going dark has NOT made anything better. I know it's just a tool to allow us to have time and space apart from each other, but I don't feel any better after a month of this. Interactions with W are now about as unpleasant as they could be. No temp checks. Texts no longer include even the most basic courtesies. It's just straight business. I think probably that interaction we had last week where I said "I don't think divorce is the solution, you know how I feel about this" really set her off.
It sounds as if you were expecting something from her by Going Dark. Going Dark is to help the LBS deal with their emotions and to get themselves out of the panic mode to "do something/anything". It's to help them to detach from the emotional drama of their spouse. It is time & free space to heal or work on your own issues....get IC, read, or whatever. The LBS is so emotionally enmeshed with their spouse and the drama of the stitch that it's very difficult to see, hear, touch, or smell anything else. When they go dark, they can pull away from all that drama......and the space helps them discover the life around them, rather than just focusing on the stitch.
You went out one night, and already feel the positive effects.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
