have reached a point with the attorneys where our settlement agreement could be completed shortly. feeling...honestly i don't know how. the inevitability of this i guess i've always expected, the sadness of it i've held at bay for many months now. w just walked away, gave us up. i'll never understand it, but i guess perhaps for whatever reason that's the way God wanted it to play out. i loved her, heck probably still do, but i've just turned off all of those feelings. beyond dealing with her for our D, i have no interest in any further relationship with her. the contradiction in my feelings of love for her, but not wanting anything to do with her are very strange to me, but again they are brought on by circumstances that i did not want and wish had never happened. D is now back with W. before she left she told me how she doesn't like going back and forth from place to place. i told her i don't like it either and that i'm so sorry this has to be the way it is. as always W not wanting me is MUCH easier to accept than the loss of time with D and the impact my W's "happiness" has had upon her. i mentioned some time ago about the idea of "dots in the future", how those future dots require the changes in my current life to complete. it is still a challenge from my current aperture to see the promise of those "future dots", but i persist and endure if for no other reason than the love i have for my D and her future. what a complete waste. i hope truly that the destruction my wife's selfish motives have wrought somehow in the future show they were for the best.
