Gaining speed (pain18 DB story, Part V)

[ovrrnbw]

Hi Pain,

I just got caught up. I'm going back to basics, so to speak. I said this months ago: you need to move back in to your home, full time, in the MBR. She is the one who wants out so let her GTFO.

She is not sure if she wants a divorce, or else she would have filed. So just be tough, and let her live with the negatives of her choice. If she wants a divorce, you and her won't talk. So cut all contact. Set a schedule with your daughter so that you don't have to talk.

No more play time, photo shoots, long talks.

Your W is right about some things, like there is nothing wrong with being single. You argued with her by saying she can't tell you how it feels. You should have just told her that if she would have taken her own advice and waited until she was actually single to date OM, that maybe she'd have some integrity. But really, you should be telling your W that she shattered you in the first place.

W feels like she can date others since I failed.

The response here is, I don't recall that being a part of our vows. We will be true to each other until the romance ends? No, that's not the vow.

Should I continue my plans of the photo shoot? The 15 minute lunch hangout? I knew that her being involved with OM was still possible. I just hoped that it was not.

Find something better to do. Detach and do it in a nice way.

Stop talking to your W. You are pressuring the hell out of her. I know you are hurting. You need to go find something to do and get your mind out of the hellhole it is in right now.

You don't want a divorce, you're not ready for a divorce, calm yourself down. You were just hoping things with OM weren't that bad, b/c you wanted to believe that. And it is always worse than the LBS thinks.

How are you finances intertwined with your W right now?

Calm down, go run for at least an hour. Go get a beer or dinner with a friend. You need some activity to focus on man. This will help you detach. Your wife says the wrong thing and you are bouncing off the wall. Don't give her that power. Don't let her ruin your happiness. This is your life, and you should make the best of it.