So, I took some time yesterday to reread the DB and DR books. Based on my reading, I am leaning towards writing a letter that least apologizes for some of my failings as a H. This would be a 180 from past behavior as the medium and the messaging is different. I can see how it can/will be considered as pursuit, but at this point what else can I lose. We are getting close to the point where we will start discussing a settlement, if I continue my current course of radio silence I will probably end up divorced anyway and wondering why I did not at least try one last time. I am not going to talk about getting back together nor will I be telling her how much I love her. My intent it to explain what I have learned over the past few months and how I see now how I contributed to a break down in the M. I also want to apologize for making her life difficult with my passive aggressive behaviors and indecision. I did a really poor job of saying I am sorry in the past. I would also like to ask that she simply considers what I wrote, maybe even put the D on temporary hold, take a chance and go for a walk with me to see if she wants to get to know who I am now. I will also reiterate that I will not stand in the way of her happiness even if that means me being completely out of the picture.
I am sorry if I am being so bull headed, but this is now day 3 of feeling like this is something I have to do and re-reading all of Sandi's threads (even though I think I am dealing with a WAW/MLC not a WW) and MWD's books again have not convinced me to stop.
I once again turn to the board to help point out what if any holes there are in my plan.
