So today has been a [censored] of a day. It started with picking me up for football. I was running late and had not had time to sort out D12's kit. Five minutes before they were due to arrive, I was frantically running around trying to find her shorts. Could not find them. I had vowed when he left whenever he came over the house would be a place of tranquility and calm. Not today.
He started to make D12 a sandwich and there was no bread or sandwich filling in the house. The bread that was in the bread bin was 2 days old. So, the monologue began ...
"Her kit is supposed to be by the door when I arrive" "you don't have any food in the house" "this bread is mouldy" "her shorts were in the drawer, you mustn't have looked properly" "she's going to be late now" blah blah blah
I stayed calmish. I responded where necessary "didn't look there", "haven't done the shop yet" when all I wanted to say was "get out of my house you spiteful nasty man". Silence the whole car journey.
D12's game was good. She is a striker and does very well. We both love to watch her play. She is happy when she is playing. But she lacks confidence and pulls away at the last minute or fumbles at the goal.
The journey home was betterish. We talked about D12's game. He always gets animated when talking about her play. I yawned at one point and said I was tired. He asked how last night was "good thanks" and what time I got home "not sure. I didn't check my watch". I mentioned the other mum (one that I would normally catch a cab home) went home early but I had decided to stay out. Silence from him. He was expecting me to go home with her. She is safe and nice. That was the end of the conversation. When we got the house he hugged and said goodbye to the girls and mumbled bye to me as he walked off.
I did the shop and was so angry at him I bought condoms. I was going to take two out and put the rest in my wash kit (which is zipped up in my bathroom). If he saw them he would never be able to say anything because what is he doing in my bathroom looking in my wash bag. He will find them though. He thinks I am seeing people (I can see it in his eyes) and he will look for evidence. Not sure what the point of allowing him to find evidence is now. It wouldn't bring us any closer to getting back together.
Strange what anger can do to the rational mind. I will put them in my gym bag which goes with me to work.
